the_goren_show (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_goren_show) wrote2008-07-13 06:38 pm
the_goren_show) wrote2008-07-13 06:38 pm
Entry tags:
Too proud to leave, I work my fingers to the bone
Some jobs are cakewalks. You go in, do your thing and leave, get a paycheque and live your life. No big deal.
Bring on the self-centered and the robots, because if I could, right now I'd go be a mail man or migrate to the east coast and go to sea as a fisherman. It'd be better than this hell.
Others, though; others are living hell no matter how enjoyable they are. My job is one of those. It's more or less a security position with a fancy name and it wears me out. There are days I come home from work and there's nothing more left of me as a human being than teeth and tissue. I can do the job. Hell, I'm good at the job and the people I watch over appreciate my being there and giving a little more to it than just employment.
Which is why the company I work for and the Directors of the Board that hired them piss me off so much. Yes, I understand the need for procedures so everyone is doing it the same way and there is a unified team. I don't get the need for the politics that make my workplace so damned toxic. You're taking a simple job and making it rocket science and that's even before you add in the personalities of the people working in the hell hole who see it in a manner of detachment I can't muster. I have been kicked around so much by the office politics, I second guess every decision to the point I'm burning myself out hoping I made the right one (that being the one that gets me in the least amount of shit).
So the one job I'm good at and love is killing me mentally. I can see how to make it simpler but learned not to offer any help. My help is not appreciated. I only come from a corporate security background, you see, I wouldn't know anything about the job I do. I have tried to keep my mind on the fact that I have rent to pay and someone depending on me and when confronted with an older woman who's fallen at home and is terrified of going to the hospital despite the huge lump on her face because she fears she will never come home, I do what the others behind my desk can't or won't do.
I turn into a fucking human being.
I will not let the bastards I work for turn me into them, but - barring a miracle - I don't see much future for a human being in my job. That's incredibly sad because it's one of the types of jobs where humanity is required.
Which is why the company I work for and the Directors of the Board that hired them piss me off so much. Yes, I understand the need for procedures so everyone is doing it the same way and there is a unified team. I don't get the need for the politics that make my workplace so damned toxic. You're taking a simple job and making it rocket science and that's even before you add in the personalities of the people working in the hell hole who see it in a manner of detachment I can't muster. I have been kicked around so much by the office politics, I second guess every decision to the point I'm burning myself out hoping I made the right one (that being the one that gets me in the least amount of shit).
So the one job I'm good at and love is killing me mentally. I can see how to make it simpler but learned not to offer any help. My help is not appreciated. I only come from a corporate security background, you see, I wouldn't know anything about the job I do. I have tried to keep my mind on the fact that I have rent to pay and someone depending on me and when confronted with an older woman who's fallen at home and is terrified of going to the hospital despite the huge lump on her face because she fears she will never come home, I do what the others behind my desk can't or won't do.
I turn into a fucking human being.
I will not let the bastards I work for turn me into them, but - barring a miracle - I don't see much future for a human being in my job. That's incredibly sad because it's one of the types of jobs where humanity is required.
Bring on the self-centered and the robots, because if I could, right now I'd go be a mail man or migrate to the east coast and go to sea as a fisherman. It'd be better than this hell.