Tales From the Desk of Alfred
Jun. 5th, 2009 12:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_goren_showNo, I'm not really as cool or as collected as Bruce Wayne's unflappable butler, but I'm soon going to be. Between the way the people for whom I 'buttle' treat me and the way the curious outsiders treat me, I will soon be as collected and snarky as Sir Alfred.
It's entitlement day at this desk apparently - though no one told me this! I'd have worn my raincoat and girded my loins better. Proof of this point, I just had a youngish couple in trying to get names from me for rentals or sales. We don't deal with any of that from this desk but try and convince them of that. The trailer trash chick with her ankle holder earrings and her dinged Lexus starts to snark at me when I teel her that to purchase a unit the best way is to talk to a realtor. "Well I am a realtor!" Really, you look like a cheap ho. And if you're a realtor, then you have access to the MLS to look up the listings! thinks I, but says nothing as I look at this wall-eyed, over made up bleach bottle blonde in gold spangled Apple Bottom jeans. People like this piss me off with their attitude of entitlement for the great achievement of managing to continue breathing without someone giving them instructions.
Now keep in mind that this chick looked like a porn wannabe - the type every good porn house rejects or sends off to star in the "Astounding Penentrations" videos they sell online and out of the back of Hustler - and she's. Anyway, I advise the two of them that for rentals, you will have to keep an eye on the papers or the various websites since our concierge desk doesn't deal with any of the rental/leasing/or sales of owner condos. The guy got it, but I had to repeat the concept to this dumb cow who was trying to dial her phone with her overlong gel nails.. "I'm sorry, we don't keep track of listings or give out numbers" with the subtext that even if we did, we wouldn't give them to you. The desk I work at, that's my Alfred job - I will gently insult you as I show you out the door and leave you wondering if I insulted you or not.
By the way dude with her, if she was a realtor, you're a friend with the best of intentions but have you actually thought through if you're helping her at all? I wouldn't buy a house from someone who didn't appear as though she could see the house. Pay her the ten grand (or whatever you'd pay her in commission) to go boff the dog while you film her and sell it. And chica, I do not need the diva attitude from someone young enough to be my hypothetical daughter. Your attitude of 'Mommy and Daddy gave me everything so now I don't know how to deal with someone saying NO!' isn't going to get you very far because you're going to run into asses like me who like to balk you and are paid to balk you. In fact, I run into people like you and I say 'No' twice just to tick you off.
Now, as for my boss. He's a decent enough sort it seems, but its like he's always trying to appease me as though he thinks I'm some rabid dog that will attack without provocation. While that's a good reputation to have if you're a rabid dog, I'm not a rabid attack dog. I might be an attack dog, but I'm a good dog. I only bite when untenably provoked. The worst part of the whole thing is this self-fulfilling propechy thing we have going now because his treating me like I'm going to go off on him, pisses me off and causes me to - you got it - get tetchy with him. He then comes in the next time, waving a bone and talking soft and the hairs on my neck start to stand up and we do this odd little dance that ends with him running for the hills and me shaking off my irritation.
I can't help but think this will end badly.
So there it is, two of the more annoying things that happen to me on any given workday. There are a hell of a lot more, but I'm a good butler and never tell what I see... unless it verges on the idiotic like the realtor, then I have to share.
It's entitlement day at this desk apparently - though no one told me this! I'd have worn my raincoat and girded my loins better. Proof of this point, I just had a youngish couple in trying to get names from me for rentals or sales. We don't deal with any of that from this desk but try and convince them of that. The trailer trash chick with her ankle holder earrings and her dinged Lexus starts to snark at me when I teel her that to purchase a unit the best way is to talk to a realtor. "Well I am a realtor!" Really, you look like a cheap ho. And if you're a realtor, then you have access to the MLS to look up the listings! thinks I, but says nothing as I look at this wall-eyed, over made up bleach bottle blonde in gold spangled Apple Bottom jeans. People like this piss me off with their attitude of entitlement for the great achievement of managing to continue breathing without someone giving them instructions.
Now keep in mind that this chick looked like a porn wannabe - the type every good porn house rejects or sends off to star in the "Astounding Penentrations" videos they sell online and out of the back of Hustler - and she's. Anyway, I advise the two of them that for rentals, you will have to keep an eye on the papers or the various websites since our concierge desk doesn't deal with any of the rental/leasing/or sales of owner condos. The guy got it, but I had to repeat the concept to this dumb cow who was trying to dial her phone with her overlong gel nails.. "I'm sorry, we don't keep track of listings or give out numbers" with the subtext that even if we did, we wouldn't give them to you. The desk I work at, that's my Alfred job - I will gently insult you as I show you out the door and leave you wondering if I insulted you or not.
By the way dude with her, if she was a realtor, you're a friend with the best of intentions but have you actually thought through if you're helping her at all? I wouldn't buy a house from someone who didn't appear as though she could see the house. Pay her the ten grand (or whatever you'd pay her in commission) to go boff the dog while you film her and sell it. And chica, I do not need the diva attitude from someone young enough to be my hypothetical daughter. Your attitude of 'Mommy and Daddy gave me everything so now I don't know how to deal with someone saying NO!' isn't going to get you very far because you're going to run into asses like me who like to balk you and are paid to balk you. In fact, I run into people like you and I say 'No' twice just to tick you off.
Now, as for my boss. He's a decent enough sort it seems, but its like he's always trying to appease me as though he thinks I'm some rabid dog that will attack without provocation. While that's a good reputation to have if you're a rabid dog, I'm not a rabid attack dog. I might be an attack dog, but I'm a good dog. I only bite when untenably provoked. The worst part of the whole thing is this self-fulfilling propechy thing we have going now because his treating me like I'm going to go off on him, pisses me off and causes me to - you got it - get tetchy with him. He then comes in the next time, waving a bone and talking soft and the hairs on my neck start to stand up and we do this odd little dance that ends with him running for the hills and me shaking off my irritation.
I can't help but think this will end badly.
So there it is, two of the more annoying things that happen to me on any given workday. There are a hell of a lot more, but I'm a good butler and never tell what I see... unless it verges on the idiotic like the realtor, then I have to share.
